I'm gonna go with TMQ on this one

Maybe I'm just drinkin' the Kool-Aid, but I say Belichick made the right call, and TMQ agrees. Manning was averaging like 45 seconds per touchdown. If Faulk doesn't bobble the ball, Pats win.

The Slow Churned phenomenon

It's been forever since I've posted, and mostly because I've been gorging on Slow Churned ice cream. Something like 50% less fat and 1/3 less calories, but most importantly, it STILL TASTES LIKE ICE CREAM, which is more than you can say for that frozen yogurt garbage. I can't believe someone finally figured it out! I'm so excited, I feel like Newman in Seinfeld:


Except, of course, Newman's favorite new treat eventually got "outed" as having fat in it. And when they took the fat out, it tasted horrible. Now, at least, we can thank the gods of food science for something that works. For an ice-cream freak like me with high cholesterol, every little bit counts. I think this revelation deserves its own holiday, but that's just me.

Jeebus, can it be that simple?

Saw a great article in one of my favorite online 'zines, www.slate.com, recently. It details how to solve the home mortgage crisis in this country at ZERO cost to the taxpayer. It's ridiculously simple. So c'mon, why can't our government make it happen? Anyone have a clue?

20 Albums

I originally wrote this for a Facebook (Crackbook?) tag, but thought it would be good to muse on here as well. Well, this is pretty embarrassing on a lot of levels, but that's life, isn't it? Asked to name 20 albums influential to my life in such a way that I'll always remember the time I listened to them, here's what I came up with. I've excluded any "Greatest Hits" albums that, while important to me, aren't really albums in the traditional sense. So here goes...


Early Years: NO CLUE AT ALL
Kenny Rogers - The Gambler
Michael Jackson - Thriller
Huey Lewis & the News - Sports

I didn't realize how important music would be to me at a young age, so it was pretty much buying whatever someone told me to buy, whether that was a commercial, a friend on the playground, or Michael J. Fox. Still, though, there are more embarrassing first concerts than Huey.


Early High School: STILL FIGURING IT OUT
Tom Petty - Full Moon Fever
Peter Gabriel - So
Don Henly - End of the Innocence

The first two came out long before the time I bought them, but I knew I liked 'em and I wore out the tapes playing them in my parents' cars. Those are two records that are way better as a whole than the hits they spawned. And you probably remember Bruce Hornsby's piano playing in "Innocence", but did you know that record also feature cameos by Axl Rose (washed up) and Sheryl Crow (unknown)? While it wasn't exactly innovative, there's not a bad song on that album.


Late High School and Early College: FINDING A VOICE
Toad the Wet Sprocket - Fear
Dada - Puzzle
Pearl Jam - Ten
Nirvana - Nevermind

Between senior year of HS and freshman year of college, I constantly spun two tapes dubbed from my brother's CD collection. The first two were on one tape and the other two were on another. From alt-folk to pop-guitar to heavy-grunge, these covered so many bases and set the soundtrack for some pretty intense drives.


Late College and Post-Grad: AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS
Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream
Toad the Wet Sprocket - Dulcinea
Say Zuzu - Highway Signs & Driving Songs
Summercamp - Pure Juice
Barenaked Ladies - Stunt

I blasted "Siamese Dream" from my dorm room the weekend freshmen moved in, wrote English papers while listening to "Dulcinea", and got inspired to form a band by "Highway Signs". And even though we weren't dating yet, I'll never forget trekking to Boston with Robin and our friend David to see the 'Ladies "CD release party" of "Stunt", which filled all of Government Center.

Married with Children: NOT CARING ABOUT MY IMAGE
Cake - Prolonging the Magic
Sister Hazel - Fortress
The Push Stars - After the Party
Jayhawks - Rainy Day Music
Jonatha Brooke - Steady Pull

Cake taught me how important percussion was to making me want to move (and yes, a phone keypad IS percussion), Sister Hazel's "Champagne High" still brings goosebumps, and The Push Stars and Jayhawks have never disappointed in over a dozen shows across three states. As for Jonatha, let's just say that no other voice can hypnotize me as quickly, and I can't wait to add more of her albums to my collection. I wish I had been listening closer all along...

There you have it. 20 albums that did it for me. But the hard part of this list? Paring it down to 20. I still feel like I left a few out...

I hate too many NFL teams

Yeah, I'm gonna post on this blog like once a decade. Feel the excitement.

So let's pick up where we left off, shall we? Seems appropriate today, since the 'Cards just secured their first ever Super Bowl berth. I can't decide whether or not to feel bad for my Dad's "Iggles" or to be excited to watch Larry Fitzgerald make more insane catches. But back to fantasy.

You know why I really can’t play fantasy football? I care too much. Yup, I simply am too passionate about the game, and particularly the teams that play it. I love two teams, like only a handful, and either actively dislike or outright hate over a dozen. Let’s examine those teams and how they significantly handicap any of my possible chances in fantasy ball.

Here’s what I think of every team in the league. Yes, your team is in here somewhere. Yes, you hate me because I’m a Patriots fan, but hear me out – you’ll probably also hate at least one or two teams that I hate, and in this we can find common ground!

The Team I love like a fine IPA: New England Patriots

This would be inexcusable if I weren’t from New England originally. It’s where I grew up and where I first started getting into football; the first game I saw live was Pats vs. 49ers. The Pats were horrendous for years, but as soon as the Kraft family took over, suddenly there was pride in Pats land, and I loved it. We endured a LOT of miserable years before the current domination, so I don’t want to hear about how much you hate my team, how they are cheaters or how all fans are like Fitzy. They’re my guys and I’ll always root for them.

The Local Team I enjoy like a tap cream soda: Minnesota Vikings

I live in Minnesota now and it’s virtually impossible not to root for the team that I get to watch every week. I love this team and pull for them as long as they’re not playing the Pats – which luckily is usually only every 4 years. You can’t call me a sports bigamist because these teams aren’t rivals – it’s not like I live in Miami and root for the Dolphins. Plus this way I get to root for a generally winning franchise that has still never won the Super Bowl. Say what you will, but they’ve never been boring.

Teams I casually enjoy like a free bag of chips

As long as these teams aren’t playing against one of my favorites, I will casually root for them. I have no serious attachment to any of them but due to liking some of their players or coaches either now or in the past, I’ll get behind them here and there.

Tennessee, Pittsburgh, Carolina, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New Orleans…

…and Buffalo: When I first started to seriously follow football in the early ‘90s, the Pats simply stunk. I was desperate for an AFC team to “represent”. Buffalo was an obvious choice, with an exciting offense and great guys like Thurman Thomas, Steve Tasker, and Don Beebe on the team. Then they subsequently went on to break my heart in 4 consecutive Super Bowls. Also note that they lost to three teams topping my “teams I hate” list. Not a coincidence.

You know what the weird thing was? I also picked an NFC team with a fun offense to root for casually at the time: the Vikes. How prophetic of me…

Teams I totally pass on at the buffet

There’s really not much point in getting into these, other than how short the list is: 10. Less than one-third of teams in the NFL I am completely neutral on, and look at how darn BAD some of these have been on a perennial basis. How could I compete in fantasy football when these are the guys I would have to root for?

Arizona, Chicago, Jacksonville, Houston, Cleveland, Seattle, San Francisco, Kansas City, Cincinnati, Detroit.

Teams I actively dislike somewhat more than overcooked broccoli

NY Jets, Miami, San Diego, Oakland, St. Louis. I have my reasons.

Teams that make me puke on myself

Tampa Bay: No Vikings fan will ever like the Bucs. Can’t happen. Too much baggage there. Let’s just say the Tampa-Oakland Super Bowl was like a nightmare for me and leave it at that.

Baltimore: Formerly known as the original Cleveland Browns, and the most boring Super Bowl champions of the modern era. All defense, no fun. Billick was so high on himself I kept expecting him to go into helium-voice during press conferences. When Ray Lewis is the face of your franchise, I’m just not gonna like you, even if he was cleared in that murder investigation.

Atlanta: NFC Championship game from 1998 season. I really don’t want to talk about it.

Denver: You know, I’m sure glad Elway got his championship(s) before retiring and had the good sense to get off the field (unlike a certain Jets QB who can’t figure out how to retire) and out of the spotlight, because otherwise we’d probably have to listen to him whine every week like Dan Marino. But Mike Shanahan thought he was god’s gift to coaching, when it was clear he couldn’t win anything without Elway. Throw in the chop-blocking offensive line and the 2006 playoffs, and my stomach can’t stop churning.

Dallas: How can you claim to be “America’s Team” when every fan of yours in America is a total jerk? When your owner has had so many facelifts he looks like he’ll melt under hot lights? When your biggest stars include coke heads (Michael Irvin), potheads (Nate Newton), self-obsessed whiners (Terrell Owens), and choke artists (Tony Romo)? When your pudgy little ex-coach cared more about his hair than his players? Need I go on?

Washington: Skins fans, I hope you’re enjoying Dan Snyder, the world’s worst owner, because nothing makes me happier than seeing him in charge of a team I despise.

Indianapolis, NY Giants: Manning brothers. ‘Nuff said.

There you have it. How can I even hope to compete in fantasy when I’m overrating my favorite teams, talking myself into things like “Tarvaris Jackson is ready to make the leap!” and “New England’s Defense isn’t THAT old!”? Do I really stand a chance when I really can’t stand the teams that employ fantasy studs like Peyton Manning, LaDanian Tomlinson, Clinton Portis, Jeff Garcia, and Jay Cutler? I say no. So I say "no thanks" when pals come around inviting me into fantasy leagues. I just care too darn much.